Alone (Edgar Allan Poe)

From childhood’s hour I have not been

As others were; I have not seen

As others saw; I could not bring

My passions from a common spring.

From the same source I have not taken

My sorrow; I could not awaken

My heart to joy at the same tone;

And all I loved, I loved alone.

Then- in my childhood, in the dawn

Of a most stormy life- was drawn

From every depth of good and ill

The mystery which binds me still:

From the torrent, or the fountain,

From the red cliff of the mountain,

From the sun that round me rolled

In its autumn tint of gold,

From the lightning in the sky

As it passed me flying by,

From the thunder and the storm,

And the cloud that took the form

When the rest of Heaven was blue

Of a demon in my view. 

An Actuary is…

1. An actuary, an underwriter, and an insurance salesperson are riding in a car. The salesperson has his foot on the gas, the underwriter has his foot on the brake, and the actuary is looking out the back window telling them where to go. The company president is behind the wheel, squinting to see while looking through a dust-covered windshield. The claims person is on the roof tossing out dollar bills.

 2. When you ask an actuary a question that requires a one-sentence answer, they respond by telling you where to find the source material from which you can calculate the answer yourself, then proceed to describe the pros and cons of different methods of calculation.

 3. An actuary is someone who wanted to be an accountant, but didn’t have the personality for it. An accountant is someone who wanted to be an actuary, but didn’t have the personality for it.

 4. What is the difference between an introverted actuary and an extroverted actuary? An introverted actuary stares at his own feet during a conversation, while an extroverted one stares at the other person’s feet.

 5. A lawyer, an accountant, and an actuary are arguing over whether it is better to have a married spouse or an unmarried lover. The lawyer says a lover because it’s legally easier to disentangle yourself from a lover. The accountant says a spouse because you can get a tax deduction with a spouse. The actuary says it’s better to have both because you can lie to each of them, telling each of them that you’re with the other, and then go to the office to do some work.

 6. In response to “How much is two plus two?”, a marketing VP will say “22″; an accountant will say “4″; a mathematician will say “I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following proof … “; an actuary will ask “What do you want it to equal?”

 (Excerpt from “Actuarial Jokes”, SOA.org, Be anActuary, etc.)